A Guide to Nightlife in London
London is a city that caters to the entertainment preferences of just about everyone; however, in this guide we will be inspecting some of the clubs and locations frequented by university students. With a heavy emphasis on the fancier, more exclusive "nightclubs" around London I will be sharing the personal sentiments and experiences of friends and patrons in addition to rating each venue based on more objective criteria.
With the kind of clubs we are inspecting in this post, it is common to use a promoter to gain entry. This entails being in contact – usually initially through social media – with someone a few days before you plan to go out to organize a group. The promoters are usually male, and the details of everyone in your group must be sent ahead of time so the promoter can make the proper arrangements with the club. The groups usually must consist of a ratio of boys to girls that is ridiculous, something like 1:5 respectively, depending on the club. Everyone must queue pretty early on a night out, reaching the club by 10:30PM and waiting outside with your promoter and group for the venue to actually open its doors.
The Criteria
1) Location
2) Music
3) Drinks
4) Cost
5) Dress Code
6) Personal Experiences
The Clubs
1) Toyroom
2) Scandal
3) Ministry
4) Cuckoo
5) Eclipse
TOYROOM
Popular among international students, particularly first years, this club is located in SoHo, but very close to Mayfair. The aesthetic is grungy and kinky yet somewhat highbrow, with a massive stuffed bear (think Ted) as its icon. Toyroom also offers a shisha-bar and cocktail lounge rooftop area for customers to enjoy as a pregame before heading downstairs, or as a more chill alternative to the loud music and dancing below.
Location: Prime! Walking distance from most student accommodations and popular restaurants and bars, the club is very central and accessible.
Music: For the most part predictably normal with mostly Hip Hop, Rap, and Pop being played. Sometimes Spanish music takes over to the disappointment of the English crowd.
Drinks: Depending on the promoter and the exclusivity of the night, drinks are usually readily available at tables, in the form of Belvedere bottles with plenty of orange juice and Cranberry mixers.
Cost: For girls, Toyroom is consistently £10 entry, but usually £20 or even £30 for guys. Sometimes, depending on the outfit and/or the demand for more girls inside, they are let in for free.
Dress Code: Girls "must" be wearing heels or boots, and the sexier you dress the less you may have to pay. Most girls can be seen in short and tight dresses, though nice pants and small tops are also quite popular. Guys must wear nice dark pants, but a collared shirt isn't necessary.
Personal Experiences: Most of my friends have great stories and lots of fun at Toyroom. Once, a friend got in for free wearing sneakers and leggings even though she didn't really want to enter. All different crowds and students from the more popular universities around London can often be found in Toyroom on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights. For people that don't always have a table, the dance floor is quite cramped, and most of the socializing happens on and around tables.
SCANDAL
Located in Mayfair, Scandal has an atmosphere similar to Toyroom, with naughty phrases and obscene artwork arranged in a classy manner around the dimly lit interior.
Location: Prime again, yet slightly further from the student neighborhood as it is located more properly in Mayfair.
Music: Similar to Toyroom, although you are more likely to get unlucky and have an off night with more lyric-less EDM style being played.
Drinks: Consistently abundant, if not sometimes excessive. However, the variety is nothing special, only vodka cranberry or vodka orange.
Cost: Same pricing as Toyroom.
Dress Code: More strict than Toyroom, Scandal seems to be more concerned about the appearance of an older crowd. Girls and boys that look too young in the face are given a hard time, and if you aren't dressed very well they will turn you down.
Personal Experiences: After going to Scandal for multiple weekends in a row, I grew tired of the experience. The club itself and the location are both fine, but a night here is nothing to write home about, and unless you are with a very fun group that all is enthusiastic about being out, you can skip.
MINISTRY
Ministry is a massive venue for music and dancing, catered more towards the floor, and less towards tables. The club doesn't actually have any place to sit on the main level, and upstairs in a smaller room there are couches and tables that are open to anyone who wants to sit. As a result the vibes at this club are much more relaxed and hardly exclusive, but if you are looking for the option to sit back and relax at some point in the night you will be hard pressed at this venue. Ministry hosts DJs all the time, and boasts an entire room with an audio system so intense there are warning signs around the entrance.
Location: Across the river in Southbank, and near to the iconic London shard, Ministry is a bit of a journey south compared to some of the more centrally located clubs on the list. However, it is still easily accessible, and a few universities have student accommodations nearby so it has no problems attracting a crowd.
Music: Loud and different. Ministry is not the place to come if you want bounce around to the Top 100s of the Moment because usually the DJs are playing their own stuff on the spot, music in other languages, or something so loud you will be more focused on the vibrations than the tune.
Drinks: Ministry is a club you must "pre" well for if you're the type that doesn't enjoy a sober night out. Unless you're down to buy drinks at the bar – which aren't too expensive in the context of London with tequila coming in at £4 a shot – you won't have access to alcohol throughout the night.
Cost: Given the lack of alcohol provided, Ministry is somewhat expensive. Normally tickets are sold on eventbrite, and range from £7 to £30, depending on how far in advance you make your purchase.
Dress Code: Probably the second most relaxed on the list, the rage/Ibiza nightclub/dance fest vibes make the dress code significantly more relaxed. This being said, in London most people go out wearing jeans & a nice top at the very least, so I have never seen someone show up in shorts or (besides guys) t-shirts.
Personal Experiences: More than any other club, your mood is very important for Ministry. You have to want to dance, jump, and "go off" with your pals, because otherwise you'll find yourself out of luck with nothing to do and nowhere to go. Out of all the clubs on this list, I have had the funniest interactions with friends and strangers at Ministry. People come with their guard down and less concern for their social status. This is conducive for making good memories.
CUCKOO
Easily the most exclusive on this list, Cuckoo is located deep in Mayfair, and the resulting atmosphere and crowd it attracts is very fancy, discerning, and expensive.
Location: One of the nicest neighborhoods in Zone 1, Mayfair is known for its upscale bars, restaurants, and nightclubs.
Music: No one really talks about the music at Cuckoo because they are so preoccupied narrating how they didn't get in (again), or they finally did get in (because of xyz).
Drinks: Probably the venue where they are the least generous with free flowing vodka, there have been no special reports on this front.
Cost: £10 to £20 for girls and the standard £30, sometimes £35 for guys.
Dress Code: Do I even need to say fancy? At Cuckoo, the crowd is more elegant and expensive looking over slutty and sexy.
Personal Experience: I have been dragged to this club with friends and queued outside with entirely too many 25 & 30 year olds only to watch everyone under 21 ahead of me get turned down. My friends that have made it inside are always excited to tell the tale, and apparently the interior is very nice, but the general consensus seems like it may not be worth the pain.
ECLIPSE
The bar upstairs is more popular than the dance floor and club setup downstairs, and this venue is the only one on the list located in a rather different and more residential neighborhood: South Kensington. Perfect for a relaxed night where you still want a bit of music & entertainment, Eclipse is the best for having more intimate conversations and experiencing a bar scene more than nightclub scene.
Location: Not central, but in one of my favorite parts of London, it is always worth the tube ride on the Piccadilly to go to South Ken.
Music: Decent music! Not too loud and not too obnoxious, upstairs in the bar it is less domineering and downstairs in the club it is more similar to places like Toyroom and Scandal on the list.
Drinks: Not cheap upstairs, but delicious and creative. Downstairs the bar serves more routine club concoctions.
Cost: Entry is free! The amount you spend at Eclipse is totally up to your personal discretion, but if you do purchase a cocktail upstairs, they start around £12.
Dress Code: Although Eclipse would probably prefer their patrons to look more put together than not, I got in on an unplanned visit with my schoolbag, wearing all black but leggings and a tank top.
Personal Experience: This was one of the more fun and social times I have had going out with my group of friends. We were able to talk and laugh together upstairs, and then moved down to check out the club space. We were all in more of a relaxed mood so we stayed seated around a table (free!), but especially as it became later in the night, dancing and getting lit was very much an option in the space.
*please note that since writing this, I have lived and gone out in London quite a bit more. I am aware that I didn’t include some pretty important clubs, such as Tape on the list. I am also aware that Scandal has since shut down – who is surprised with the promoters most definitely always being on coke. If the inaccuracy of the post really bothers you please contact me and I will update it, or take it down.
